Risky Business
by Befanini
Summary: A typhoon. One room for the ikkou. Two frustrated smokers who can't light up. What ensues? Trust the kappa to find a way... XD!


September 8, 2005

**Title: Risky Business (Part 6 of the Barely Breathing thread) **

**Author: Befanini )**

**Disclaimer: **I have absolutely no rights whatsoever. For sinful daydreaming purposes only. growl XD !

**Rating: **Mature! NC-17 for language and explicit sexual content.

**Summary:** A typhoon. One room for the ikkou. Two frustrated smokers who can't light up. What ensues? Trust the kappa to find a way… XD! Shounen-ai, lemon, yaoi, WAFF.

**A/N: **If you're not familiar with my fics by now, be advised that I write SxGxS – sweetxgoofyxsexy 3x5x3. Or else it's bittersweet angst. In either case, I lean to serious shounen-ai, as opposed to just the grudging lust typical between Sanzo and Gojyo. So feel free to read something else if you're a purist. Otherwise, enjoy…

**P.S. **Somebody douse me with cold water! LOL… Once again, a "mild" version of the original. (Read: fanfictiondotnet-friendly!)

* * *

"Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be." -- Rumi

* * *

XxXxX

"OI bakazaru!" Gojyo yelled. But it was no use – the monkey was the first to leap through the inn's doors, followed swiftly by Sanzo and Hakkai. Leaving the kappa to deal with the heaviest of their gear. In the freezing, pouring rain. Hell – in the fucking howling _typhoon_!

"KYU!" squealed the jeep impatiently, adding insult to injury. Gojyo glared, teeth gnashing, then hauled up the stuff with a grumble. "Not their fucking errand boy, dammit…"

When the drenched kappa and the sneezing dragon finally joined the others, it was to catch the innkeeper's pleasant remark. "I hope you boys enjoy your stay…"

"Yeah, right," Gojyo grumped, glaring at Goku, who was hiding behind Sanzo. "You little…" he snarled, fingers twitching to clamp themselves around the kid's neck.

"Here you go, Gojyo," Hakkai cut in quickly, holding up a set of keys in front of the pissed kappa's face. Gojyo snatched it up with a growl. "I better not be rooming with the bakazaru tonight," he warned, leaning sideways over a stiff, twitching Sanzo to bare his teeth at Goku. Goku scampered away to the other side, grinning incorrigibly. Scowling, Gojyo dared the wrath of Sanzo, pressing close against the priest to try and snatch at the wildly grinning monkey.

"Gomen, Gojyo," Hakkai replied with one of his annoyingly mild smiles. "I'm afraid we're all rooming together tonight. It's all they have…" Just then Goku squeezed past Sanzo with a yelp and dashed behind Hakkai. Gojyo froze, forgetting his irritation at Goku's escape. He straightened up slowly, crimson eyes staring into purple eyes in horrified denial. Golden eyebrows arched the tiniest bit, and the robe-covered shoulders gave an almost imperceptible shrug.

Shit! Gojyo cursed to himself as the ikkou started up the stairs to their room, Sanzo in the lead and the kappa bringing up the rear. It was bad enough not to have separate rooms, and now he'd just been informed that the room only had one set of twin beds… he had a feeling he'd wind up sleeping on the floor again tonight. His luck just seemed to go from bad to worse…

Right that instant, the lights flickered and went out. He stumbled, knocking over Hakkai in front of him. Vicious cursing and mayhem followed, as Hakkai crashed into Goku, and Goku knocked Sanzo over, with Hakuryu nearly getting flattened in all the confusion. Hakkai's frantic cries joined the string of obscenities. Their stuff tumbled down the stairs with a horrific noise as they each lost their grip on the bundles. Goku only added to the pandemonium with his high-pitched wails and frantic gropes for someone to hold on to.

"K'so…"

"Dammit, bakazaru! Not the hair!"

"I can't see a thing, you darn cockroach!"

"Well quit pulling at my hair, dammit!"

"But I'm scared…."

"Hakuryu? Talk to me!"

"Kyu…."

"OW! Stupid kappa! That hurts!"

"Let go of my hair, dammit!"

"Where are you, Hakuryu!"

"URUSEI!"

Click.

In the glow of the electric lighter, livid amethyst eyes glittered murderously at them all. "As if this _fucking_ rain were not enough…" The harisen was poised above their heads.

Just then the innkeeper rushed over, candle in hand. "Looks like the typhoon has knocked down the power lines," he offered in an apologetic voice.

"No shit Sherlock…" Gojyo muttered. He yelped as Hakkai's foot connected with his shin.

"Here," the innkeeper continued, luckily not catching the naughty kappa's remark. He handed Hakkai four stout candles. "Hopefully this typhoon will blow itself out by tomorrow afternoon. Until then I advise you to keep your windows shut tight. Good night, gentlemen," he finished, and turned away. "Oh! Sumimasen…" he murmured, as he encountered the ikkou's things scattered at the foot of the stairs. "Come help these nice young men carry their belongings upstairs, Ran," he called.

"Thank Tenkai for small mercies," Gojyo muttered.

"Daijobou, Hakuryu?" Hakkai crooned, petting the mini-dragon tenderly.

"Harahetta…" Goku whined, remembering his stomach now that the dark wasn't pressing on his eyeballs.

"'Ch!" Sanzo clenched his teeth viciously, prodding Goku along roughly as they continued up the stairs and down the hallway to their room.

"ITTE!" Goku protested, stumbling over his own feet from Sanzo's haste. "It's not _my_ fault it's raining…" he grimaced at the irate High Priest.

"He's right, Sanzo," Hakkai put in mildly. "You know I'm not fond of the rain either, but there's nothing we can do about the weather."

"Damare," Sanzo growled. "You smug lunkhead…"

Hakkai raised his eyebrows.

Gojyo elbowed him. "Don't you get it? This howling wind and slashing rain means Sanzo-sama can't suck on his cigarettes," he snickered.

"Urusei! It's your problem too!"

"Right…" the kappa winced, deflated.

* * *

XxXxX

"Too cold… too cold…" Goku chattered, shivering uncontrollably.

"Urusei, bakazaru!" Gojyo grumped, himself curled up in a tight ball inside his sleeping bag on the floor. His only consolation was that Goku was on the floor beside him too; the two of them using the two dry sleeping bags, while Sanzo and Hakkai got the beds. Predictably. Outside, the typhoon showed no sign of a letup, the trees were swaying and bending, debris flew through the air, and the rain pelted down furiously from all directions. Tightly shut as the windows were, the wind managed to get through the cracks and crevices, rendering the room unbearably damp and uncomfortably cold.

The narrow twin beds creaked and shook as well, Sanzo and Hakkai being no warmer than the two on the floor. Finally, Sanzo threw back his covers, glaring sullenly. "'Ch. We have no choice. We'll have to share the beds."

Goku crowed and jumped up at once, hauling up his sleeping bag and blankets and standing there expectantly. Hakkai lit a candle with a sigh, cupping his palm around the flame to shield it from the drafts.

"'Ch. Hayaku!" Sanzo barked, his head tilted up and violet eyes glaring at the ceiling.

Gojyo made no move, but Goku declared quickly, "I'll sleep with Hakkai!" The monkey quickly piled his stuff on the healer's bed, snatching up Hakkai's blankets and stuffing them inside the sleeping bag together with his own. "Sanzo's in a _bad_ mood, and I'd rather _freeze_ than share with the kappa!" He stuck his tongue out at Gojyo.

"Baka! That's _my _line!" Gojyo growled. Hakkai winced, expecting a long and nasty argument over the proposed sleeping arrangements from the kappa and the priest. Surprisingly enough, Sanzo just snorted. "Do what you want! Just settle it so everybody can get warm and go to sleep!" he snarled.

Gojyo shrugged, and turned his back on the other two with a secret smirk. He gathered up his stuff and approached Sanzo's bed slowly, waggling his eyebrows naughtily. Behind him, Hakkai was already reprimanding Goku for hogging the covers and the bedspace.

Sanzo got off the bed and watched with a bored expression as the kappa arranged things. Purple eyes glittered at him in warning. "You try anything, kappa…" Sanzo growled.

"Oh, just get your pretty tush in already!" Gojyo drawled. "I want to get warm…" he chattered, jumping from foot to foot.

"'Ch." Sanzo obeyed reluctantly, pointedly turning his back to Gojyo.

The silence and the darkness descended once more as Hakkai blew out the candle. "Don't you two swear and curse at each other all night, okay…" he mumbled sleepily. Goku was already drooling beside him as pulled the zip up. In a while their exhausted driver was snoring softly as well.

"Mmm…" Gojyo growled softly, nuzzling close to press his face into the back of Sanzo's neck. His arms came around the priest too, pulling Sanzo back to his chest firmly as he wedged a knee between Sanzo's thighs.

"Gojyo…" Sanzo growled, low.

"Nani? I'm sharing our body heat," Gojyo mumbled against the priest's nape, his warm breath sending shivers down Sanzo's spine.

Click.

"You have a deathwish, erogappa?" Sanzo bit out, the Smith and Wesson planted against Gojyo's temple.

"Partypooper!" Gojyo pouted, withdrawing the knee.

"'Ch."

Apart from the thumb drawing lazy circles on Sanzo's abdomen, Gojyo behaved himself. For all of five minutes. And then he started fidgeting again.

"K'so…" Sanzo growled.

"Dammit…" Gojyo breathed, fanning the silken hair in front of his mouth. "I'm _dying_ for a smoke," he whispered, the other two now deeply asleep.

"Urusei!" Sanzo hissed. "I'm craving one badly enough as it is… OI!" he yelped as the kappa suddenly threw back the covers and jumped out of bed, letting the cold air into the sleeping bag. "What the hell do you think you're doing, baka!"

"I don't care!" Gojyo announced, rummaging around in the inside pockets of his jacket for a dry Hi-Lite. "I'm sneaking a smoke…"

"Not in here you're not!" Hakkai spoke up, sitting up and glaring with sleepy eyes. "We can't open the windows, or have you forgotten! Hakuryu already has a bad cold as it is… Have some consideration for non-smokers, will you…"

"Yeah, yeah," Gojyo mumbled. "I'll take it outside…"

"You'll catch your death of cold!" Hakkai exclaimed in disbelief.

"Whatever." Gojyo pulled the door shut.

Hakkai dropped back down with a resigned shrug. "It's your funeral…" he yawned, burrowing back deep inside their sleeping bag.

In the other bed, the monk lay twitching, struggling with himself. Being the only human, he was the most sensitive to the cold, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted a smoke that badly, to leave his warm nest.

Temptation won.

Pulling his robes close around him while leaving the sutra and the gold breastplate beside the bed, Sanzo clenched his teeth tight against the cold and jammed his feet into his boots. Hunched over, he made his way out the door.

"Hopeless…" Hakkai sighed.

* * *

XxXxX

Sanzo pulled the door shut behind him and walked the length of the hallway, making for the inn's second-story veranda just ahead. He had no idea in hell how he was going to keep his cigarette alight in the howling blasts of wind and sheets of rain that waited for him at the end of the corridor, but he was willing to brave it for one deep, satisfying puff. It had been too long since his last stick – nearly twelve hours now. Of course it was impossible to light up in the jeep along the way, as they had been overtaken by the storm on the road.

'Ch. Maybe Hakkai had a point. Sanzo liked to think that he was in control, dependent on nothing, and it certainly seemed from his desperate actions like he was a slave to his addiction. What the hell.

The doors to the veranda suddenly banged open, sending furious gusts of wind and a spray of cold rain his way. Before he had time to spout obscenities, his breath was knocked out of him when the door to his left suddenly opened, and a hand reached out and yanked him inside.

"Motherflbjgdkdmrv… You almost gave me a heart attack!" he growled, smelling the familiar musk of a certain redheaded rascal. Apart from that, he and Gojyo were in total darkness, the howling winds and buffeting rain muffled inside what seemed to be a very cramped space. "Dammit, Goj—"

"Urusei…" Gojyo groaned, hauling the still-pissed monk to him hungrily. Strong brown arms locked around Sanzo, a large hand cupping the back of the golden head as the kappa's mouth descended impatiently.

His mouth missed its target, landing just to the side of the desired lips. Crazed, uncaring, Gojyo fluttered mad, wet, passionate kisses all over Sanzo's face anyway, making low desperate sounds deep in his throat.

In his arms, Sanzo shuddered, struggling wildly to free his trapped hands between them. As soon as he did, he wrapped them fiercely around Gojyo as well, his hands moving feverishly up and down and all over Gojyo's hard, muscular torso.

"Sanzo… Sanzo!" Gojyo breathed, his head dropping to Sanzo's throat. His tongue slithered its way between the blonde's turtleneck and the blonde's silky skin to lap hotly at Sanzo's wildly drumming pulse.

"Uhhnnn! … Baby…" Sanzo gasped huskily, arching his neck to allow the kappa greater access. At the pet name, Gojyo groaned deeply, shuddering, all his other senses heightened by the complete darkness.

"Sanzo, baby…" he moaned back, his mouth working its way along Sanzo's jaw to their final, eager destination.

Sanzo moaned again as Gojyo's mouth finally claimed his mouth, as the other's slick, hot tongue coiled sinuously against his own, while lower he felt the hard bulge of Gojyo pressing intimately, insistently, just above his own throbbing arousal. For the moment they both paid no heed, busy sating their thirst on each other's wide-open mouths. They kissed deeply, helpless moans of tortured pleasure passing from one mouth to the other, heightening the thrills shooting up their spines and further inflaming the already furious heat coiling in their loins.

"Uhnnhh… Why the hell didn't you get separate rooms, baby…" Gojyo moaned against his ear, the wicked tongue darting inside to swirl maddeningly over the sensitive whorls and folds.

Sanzo clasped Gojyo's head, shuddering. "We're lucky they had the one room left, baka…" he moaned back, thrusting his thigh between the kappa's legs. Gojyo shamelessly rubbed himself against the leanly muscled flesh, causing them both to shudder all the more.

"But I'm _dying_…" Gojyo whined, blindly pressing hot kisses over Sanzo's face as his hand slipped inside the robes. The wandering hand was checked by Sanzo's black top tucked inside his jeans, but Gojyo rubbed a stiff nipple through the fabric anyway, making Sanzo shiver weakly.

"That makes two of us," Sanzo gasped, his thigh insistently pushing against Gojyo. Gojyo rode him harder, groaning in frustration.

"Where the hell are we anyway?" Sanzo mumbled against the underside of Gojyo's chin, his mouth busy pressing burning kisses down Gojyo's neck.

"In a -- growl -- in a broom closet, I think," Gojyo panted, unable to take much more. He unstraddled himself from Sanzo's thigh and in one quick motion undid the sash on the blonde's robes.

"In a WHAT!" Sanzo exclaimed, before he groaned again, as Gojyo's hands encircled his hips and clasped his buttocks to lift him slightly and grind his arousal against Gojyo's. Gojyo's mouth descended to claim his lips again, large hands still supporting him. Sanzo's arms wrapped fiercely around Gojyo's shoulders as they rocked against each other, their tongues thrusting in time with their hips.

Sanzo broke the kiss, his fingers threading possessively through silken crimson hair. "And here I was positive you were talking about _smokes_, you horny water imp…" he growled against Gojyo's mouth, their lips clinging damply.

Gojyo chuckled. "Come to where the _flavor_ is…" he purred, dropping down to his knees.

"Gojyo…" Sanzo moaned helplessly, porcelain fingers still twined through crimson hair. Gojyo tugged his jeans and boxers down impatiently. "Uhhhnnn… FUCK!" Sanzo shuddered as he disappeared inside the moist, burning cavern of Gojyo's mouth.

Gojyo groaned deep, the darkness and the closeness and the whole naughtiness of blowing his Sanzo inside a cramped closet while the storm raged outside inflaming him beyond words. He reached up with one hand to push Sanzo's top up impatiently, catching and rubbing a pale nipple between his fingers.

"Fuck… baby… uhhhnnnn!" Sanzo moaned above him, the fingers tangled in his hair tightening almost painfully.

Gojyo drew his head back slowly. " _Oishii…_ " he drawled wickedly, making Sanzo gasp. "Baka!… Ahhhh…" and then Sanzo groaned helplessly again as Gojyo dipped his head once more and continued to pleasure him.

"Gojyo…" Sanzo growled, as Gojyo used his wickedly knowledgeable tongue to drive him wild. "Nnghhh!" Sanzo gasped, feeling the staggering pleasure mounting swiftly.

"Baby!" Sanzo cried, as he came suddenly. He moaned, his head thrown back, helpless shudders of ecstasy rocking his body, feeling the staggering orgasm go on and on…

"Shit," he gasped weakly, as Gojyo finally stood up and crushed him in a tight embrace. He tasted himself in Gojyo's mouth as they kissed deeply again.

"Baby… gomen…" Sanzo moaned against the kappa's moist, hot lips. "But this dark and the space… and this whole thing is fucking ridiculous anyway," he groaned throatily, feeling the impressive evidence of Gojyo's unfulfilled need pressing into his stomach.

"I know. That's what makes it HOT," Gojyo breathed wickedly into his mouth.

"Demo—"

"Damare, angel!" Gojyo groaned. "I want inside of you so _bad_…"

Sanzo tightened his arms fiercely around Gojyo. "Do it, baby. Fuck me…" he growled.

Gojyo moaned deep in his throat. "This isn't exactly the right place for what I had in mind…"

"'Ch. Baka. Improvise!" Sanzo snarled, feeling himself grow hard again.

"Oi, _I'm_ the expert here, please don't forget," Gojyo murmured.

"Fuck me, Gojyo," Sanzo rasped thickly against his jaw, the silken lips busily devouring his chin.

Gojyo gasped helplessly. "I don't have the lube…"

"Fuck the damn lube. We don't need it."

"I don't want to hurt you, angel," Gojyo groaned, shuddering against Sanzo. "I'd rather di—"

"Urusei!"

And Sanzo dropped to his knees, much to the shock and helpless delight of the head-over-heels Gojyo.

"Uhhhnnn… Sanzo! Fuck… fuck…"

Sanzo stopped his lustful ministrations, glaring up uselessly in the dark. "Don't you _dare_ come, erogappa," he threatened. "I want you _inside_ me!"

"Your wish is my command, baby," Gojyo purred. He quickly shoved tanned fingers inside his own mouth, sucking on them wetly, and then he reached down to tug Sanzo up and draw him close, his tongue finding its way inside Sanzo's mouth as he reached around the robes to prepare his lover.

"Gojyo…" Sanzo groaned, sagging yearningly against him, the golden head falling weakly to rest against his shoulder.

"Shit. How do we do this?" Sanzo demanded, both of them now panting hard. "You think the goddamn door will hold?" he asked, as he turned around to face the door, bracing himself against it. He kicked off his boots and jeans impatiently, and behind him Gojyo did the same, and then the kappa impatiently hiked the robes up to his waist.

Sanzo felt Gojyo press close, warm gasping breaths grazing his nape as Gojyo leaned against his back to test the door. They both moaned gutturally at the contact.

"I can't guarantee it," Gojyo gasped, rocking unconsciously against Sanzo, growling.

"Fuck it all. Why not risk it?" Sanzo hissed impatiently.

"I tell you what. Let's get down on the floor," Gojyo suggested breathlessly, stealing another wet, yearning kiss on his lover's nape.

"Baka! It's not wide enou—"

"Ride me, baby," Gojyo clarified in a deep, hoarse voice, making Sanzo growl deeply.

So Gojyo dropped down to the floor on the diagonal, pressing his back tight against one corner, leaving just enough room for him to sit with his legs slightly bent, the only way for the long legs to fit properly in the cramped, tight space for their wicked, delicious intention.

Sanzo gingerly sat down on top of him, his robes fanning out, both of them groaning throatily as Sanzo tried to find the most comfortable position. A bucket clanged down and a mop hit the kappa in the shoulder as they shifted and groped and fumbled in the sinful darkness, not helping their focus or concentration by again kissing wildly, their mouths drawn helplessly to each other like magnets.

Finally, after some more blind maneuvering, Sanzo impatiently discarded the goddamn robes that kept getting in the way, and impatiently tugged Gojyo's shirt up, hungrily pressing their bare chests together, growling deep in his throat at the contact. Then he leaned back. "You ready, baby?" he drawled deeply, his other hand clutching Gojyo's shoulder for support.

"Gods, angel, _do_ it!" Gojyo growled, arching his hips up impatiently. And then he threw his head back as Sanzo sank down and swallowed him.

Gojyo's deep moan of unbearable pleasure met Sanzo's hoarse hiss. Sanzo rocked slightly, his lips parted, grinding in slow, sinuous circles against the kappa's lap, sending mind-blowing ripples of feeling exploding through them, up their spines and down through their fingertips.

Large brown hands came up to clasp lean marble hips as Sanzo raised and lowered himself sensually. Sanzo braced himself by wrapping alabaster arms around his lover's strong shoulders, his mouth suckling Gojyo's chin wetly. Gojyo had his head thrown back, harsh groans of pleasure spilling from his mouth.

"Ahhh… Gods… Sanzo…" Gojyo moaned deeply, burrowing his face in his lover's shoulder as Sanzo quickened the pace and rode him hard, the blonde's groans now mingling with his own.

"Kiss me baby…" Sanzo gasped breathlessly. _Kiss_ me!" he groaned.

Gojyo wrapped his arms fiercely around Sanzo and thrust his tongue inside his lover's mouth, groaning deep in his throat.

"Mmnnhhh… ahh, Gojyo!" Sanzo moaned into his mouth, falling into a staggering release.

Sanzo's pleasure ripped an explosive climax from Gojyo at the same time. "Sanzo!" he cried out, throwing his head back. "Baby, baby, baby…" he breathed, shuddering, as he continued to come in waves of intense pleasure. "God, Sanzo… so good, so good…" he moaned against Sanzo's lips as his lover dipped his head to claim his mouth again.

They broke apart, Sanzo sagging exhaustedly against him. "I love you so _much_, baby," Gojyo groaned, overwhelmed.

"I love you too," came the breathless reply, punctuated by a soft, tender kiss as Sanzo sat up slightly and released him with a small hiss and a sigh, then settled himself back down into the kappa's lap, nestling the golden head into Gojyo's throat and locking ivory arms around Gojyo.

Trembling tanned arms wrapped possessively around Sanzo, as well as mile-long legs; and Gojyo shivered, wanting so much more – wanting to climb inside Sanzo's skin and meld their bodies as one. He sighed, stroking Sanzo's hair tenderly. "How I ever managed to ensnare you I'll never know…" he breathed, his lazy, sensual voice cracking slightly.

"'Ch," Sanzo clucked, pressing a searing kiss into Gojyo's collarbone. "Hell if I know either, you horny water imp."

"I'm _serious_, you corrupt, beautiful, arrogant monk, I swear I'm fucking head over heels in love with y—"

"Urusei!" Sanzo hissed, clamping his hand over Gojyo's mouth.

"Mmmpphhhh!" Gojyo protested, still in a love-dazed cocoon. He tried to shake the ivory hand off and was rewarded with Sanzo pulling fiercely at his hair.

"Listen!" Sanzo hissed in his ear, making Gojyo squirm from the ticklish stream of warm breath. His arms tightened even more around Sanzo, a low purr rumbling in his throat and a wicked gin starting to curl on his generous lips. He rocked his hips against Sanzo, grabbing firm hold of Sanzo's hand covering his mouth. He yanked it down, while he dipped his head to breathe naughtily against Sanzo's lips – "I'm ready for round two, pretty boy…"

And then he, too, froze, at the now very audible sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. Shit! The goddamn innkeeper! Gojyo froze too, Sanzo already rigid in his arms. They were too horrified to even scramble for their clothes, let alone move, let alone breathe.

"Yare yare, Goku… I'm _speechless_…" came a familiar voice.

FUCK! Even worse!

"Demo—" the monkey wailed.

"Aren't you ashamed, dragging me along with you to use the men's room!"

Sanzo cursed profusely under his breath. Gojyo clasped his head swiftly, pressing it down firmly onto his shoulder, biting his lip himself. It was all he could do not to explode in hysterical laughter at the possible scenario of being discovered…

"But I'm _scared_, Hakkai!"

" _Unbelievable_ …"

"We all have our phobias… mine happens to be complete and utter darkness…"

"I told you to light a candle, didn't I!"

Beneath the door, Gojyo could make out a faint green glow, no doubt from Hakkai's chi.

"Yeah, and it blew out halfway here, and then I dropped the matches, and they got wet, and since Gojyo and Sanzo aren't back yet, I don't _have_ any light, now, do I!"

"Come to think of it, where the heck _are_ those two…"

The voices faded away to the far side of the corridor.

"Fuck!"

The kappa and the priest scrambled madly in the darkness, groping for their discarded clothes, bumping heads and knees and arms in their haste.

"ITTE! Dammit, baby, that hurts!"

"Baka erogappa!"

"Shit, these are your jeans, I think…"

"Gimme then!" Sanzo hissed. "Hayakku… they might be back any minute now…"

"Fuck!" Gojyo clapped a hand to his forehead. "Baka indeed…"

Click!

In the glow of the lighter, they finally sorted things out, dressed hastily, and then squeezed side by side down on the floor as they each finally lit a cigarette.

"Aaahhhh…. That's damn _good_," Sanzo growled, inhaling deeply, feeling the nicotine rush through his blood.

"Arigatou…" Gojyo purred, leaning over to nuzzle the side of Sanzo's neck. "I'm the _legend_, if I do say so myself… Hehehe…"

"Baka…" Sanzo pushed him off, but not before pressing a swift, hard kiss on the sinful lips. "I was talking about the smoke, you moron…"

"Yup," Gojyo grinned. "Come to where the flavor is…" He let a hand wander down between Sanzo's robe-covered thighs.

THWAK! Gojyo drew the wandering hand back sharply with a wince.

"Behave yourself, baka!" Sanzo scolded. "We can't risk any more… I hear their footsteps coming back…"

"Huh. I _dare_ you, corrupt monk," Gojyo growled, but leaning back obediently as he dragged deeply on his Hi-Lite.

"Urusei…"

"Double dare, blondie…"

"URU—"

And then Gojyo yelped, and Sanzo jumped as the door was jerked open. Framed against the doorway stood two shadowy figures. In Hakkai's cupped palms glowed a soft green light, falling on the two culprits with all the accusing force of a police spotlight.

"Yare yare…"

"Ore! What are you guys doing there!" Goku asked curiously.

Gojyo snorted and choked, turning purple, and got an elbow rammed in his ribs.

"I was about to ask the same thing myself, Goku," Hakkai said grimly. In the faint light they could make out his head shaking sorrowfully from side to side. "You two really are something else," he continued. "Are you aware how much your cigarettes stink! And here you are fouling up the inn's closets just so you can smoke in comfort!" Green eyes glared disapprovingly at them in the gloom.

"Gomen, gomen…" Gojyo drawled, getting to his feet and brushing past the annoyed healer, his shoulders slumped guiltily. He bowed his head to hide the rakish grin that just refused to be wiped from his face.

"'Ch." A dignified Sanzo followed Gojyo down the hallway to brave the drenching rain of the veranda.

"Unbelievable!" Hakkai stood there, his hands on his hips. "Look at them, Goku! They're lighting up _again_!"

"Eh, who cares?" Goku yawned mightily, nearly dislocating his jaw. "I'm freezing! Leave them, let's go back to sleep…"

"And I suppose they expect me to expend my chi when they both get pneumonia," Hakkai continued to grumble as they made their way back to their room.

"Beats me how they can keep their cigarettes burning in all that rain…"

* * *

XxXxX

"Fuck, I'm _drenched_!" Gojyo chattered as they re-entered the room.

"No shit, baka," Sanzo growled, shivering. He lit a candle, causing Hakkai to shift and turn over irritably.

"And all my stuff is soaked, too!" the kappa exclaimed, digging out his clothes in disbelief.

"So are mine…"

"Dammit, I bet that monkey's bag is dry—"

"Aw, SHADDUP!" Goku growled angrily, poking up a drowsy head. "Some people are _sleeping_ here…"

"You little—"

"Yare yare, get some of _my_ clothes and be quiet!" Hakkai mumbled sleepily.

"Sheesh…"

Blessed quiet for a few minutes as Gojyo and Sanzo turned Hakkai's pack topsy-turvy.

"Ill take _that,_" Sanzo snatched off a piece of clothing from Gojyo's hands.

"Oi, you corrupt monk, that's the only dry shirt left—"

"Urusei! You got the only dry pair of jeans left! I'm stuck with the monkey's shorts as it is!"

After a few more mumbles and rustles and hisses and growls and yare yares and impatient sighs, the kappa and the priest finally got inside their warm sleeping bag.

"Quit poking your bony elbows in my side, dammit!" Gojyo chattered.

"Urusei! I can't exactly control my shivering, now, can I! You're not exactly loose and relaxed yourself!"

"All RIGHT! Dammit…"

"Baka erogappa!"

Outside the wind howled more furiously than ever and the rain came down in sheets. Inside, Goku and Hakkai finally fell asleep as the two renegade risk-takers finally warmed up and quieted down.

"Oi, blondie…" Gojyo whispered, low, face to face with Sanzo, who had his eyes closed.

"Mmm…"

"It was worth it, wasn't it?" Gojyo drawled, glancing up quickly at Hakkai and Goku snoring softly, before daring a soft kiss on Sanzo's lips.

"Urusei!" Sanzo grinned against his mouth, kissing him back lingeringly. Then Sanzo sighed, yawned, and turned around on his side. Gojyo moved close, blessing the darkness, and spooned himself against Sanzo, wrapping a tanned arm possessively around Sanzo's waist.

Sanzo reached up to lace their fingers together, and the kappa shuddered.

"Love you, Sanzo," he breathed against the priest's nape. Sanzo shivered, then turned his head briefly to whisper back. "I love you too. Shut up."

"I love you so _much_, angel," Gojyo growled, nipping at Sanzo's neck delicately.

Sanzo rolled his eyes, familiar with the kappa's game. His fingers tightened painfully through Gojyo's fingers. "I love you _more_, you rascal. Go to sleep!" he hissed fiercely.

"Nope." The kappa's 'antennae' bobbed as Gojyo shook his head. "I love _you_ more, hage bouzu. Don't fight me on this."

Sanzo blew on his bangs. "Whatever."

"OI!"

"Urusei!"

And then the naughty kappa froze as low murmurs came from the other bed.

"Mmm…" Goku mumbled. "Pork buns…"

And Gojyo shut up.

* * *

XxXxX

The next morning, Goku sat up in the gray light, awakened by the fierce growling of his stomach. He winced, then yawned, turning morosely to stare across the room out the window at the typhoon, still howling furiously.

And then his eyes popped, as his gaze drifted to the other bed. The other bed which was shaking, actually creaking and rattling on its hinges from whatever its occupants were doing. Low groans and moans came from the two huddled figures burrowed deep inside the sleeping bag. Goku let out a squeak before he knew it.

"Hmm? Nani, Goku?" Hakkai mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

Goku sat shellshocked, wide eyes glued to the other bed.

Hakkai followed his line of vision, and his eyes bulged as well, and his cheeks were stained pink as the weird noises finally penetrated through his foggy brain. "Er…" he murmured, at a loss for words.

"Are… are they…" Goku gulped, and sweatdropped.

"Ah… hehehe…" Hakkai laughed weakly.

At the sound, the moans and groans grew more frantic. And then… a weak rasp. "H…Hakkai…"

Frowning, Hakkai jumped out of the covers and moved swiftly over to the other bed, his cheeks burning.

"Hakkai!" came the croak again.

Puzzled and embarrassed and confused as hell, Hakkai took a deep breath and jerked the covers down halfway… and released a long-suffering sigh at the sight that met his eyes.

Gojyo and Sanzo were curled up into tight balls against each other, shivering and chattering uncontrollably, wheezing, noses red and eyes watering.

"HA… CHOO!" Gojyo let loose with a great sneeze, earning him a quick elbow from a wretched, glaring High Priest.

"Cover your bouth, dabbit!" Sanzo hissed.

Gojyo sniffled pitifully. "A-right! Zheezh… Goben…"

Behind Hakkai, the monkey cackled, earning him murderous glares from ruby and amethyst eyes. And then Sanzo sneezed as well.

"SHID!" the kappa exclaimed hotly. "Bragdiz whad you breadge, hage bouzu!"

"Urusei!" Sanzo sniffed.

Hakkai planted his hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently. "Yare yare… DARN YOU TWO! _What_ did I say last night, eh?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Goku chimed in merrily.

"Urusei!…" Sanzo growled again, blowing his nose. "Pud the coverz bag up, dabbit… I'b freezig!"

"You just HAD to risk it, didn't you!"

"Aw, zave the legture, Hakkai," Gojyo begged hoarsely, coughing hard. Sanzo whacked him on the back. "We're biserable eduff az it iz…"

"It would serve your sorry butts right if Goku and I left you two here to rot," Hakkai huffed, still annoyed.

"Let's do it, Hakkai…" Goku crowed. Gojyo lunged up swiftly, his hands curled into claws, then fell back down dizzily.

"EDUFF, HAKKAI!" Sanzo roared, and then gasped, clutching his sore throat.

Hakkai shook his head. "Unbelievable. Look where your addiction's gotten you. Unbelievable!" he clucked.

The monkey was about to throw in another smug rejoinder, but was halted by the swift appearance of the harisen, even though its owner swayed weakly.

Gojyo blew his nose hard to clear his head. And then, "_Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor,_" he quoted painfully, earning him a vicious kick to the shin under the covers. He yelped, wincing.

Hakkai didn't notice. His eyes were wide with disbelief, staring down at his best friend. "_What_ did you say!" he breathed.

Goku scrunched his nose. "Eh?"

"'Ch!" Sanzo rasped disdainfully, blowing his nose too. "_When love is not madness, it is not love_," he translated, arching his eyebrows at his supposed-to-be fellow intellectual.

"I _know_ what it means, Sanzo," Hakkai bit out, insulted. "I'm just surprised to hear Gojyo quoting Spanish. And a quote about love, to boot," Hakkai murmured, frowning.

"'Ch," Sanzo drawled again in a bored voice. "What _doez_ the erogappa love, iv nod hiz zigarettez…" Sanzo croaked, his nose closing up again.

"Yare yare…" Hakkai sighed. Goku tugged at his shirt impatiently. "Harahetta!" the monkey proclaimed. "Let them suffer a few more minutes. I have to fill up the hole inside me!" Goku begged.

"Bagazaru!" Gojyo growled, shaking violently, the fever mounting in his body. Sanzo clenched his teeth hard to stop the chattering of his teeth, equally as miserable.

Hakkai shook his head, then turned away to get some medical supplies from his bag. His eyes bulged to find the contents strewn recklessly on the floor from the two culprits' hasty search for dry clothing the night before. Hakkai trembled with rage, his fists clenched. Goku slid dread-filled eyes to the healer. And then Hakkai laughed.

" _Darn_ you two!" Hakkai declared again, but ruefully this time. "What all of you would ever do without me I shudder to think…" he murmured mildly, bending down to fish through the stuff for the supplies he needed for the invalids.

"Hayaku, Hakkai!" Goku whined, and then yelped as a pillow hit him square in the face.

* * *

XxXxX

"So… in sickness and in health, huh?" Gojyo mumbled against Sanzo's forehead. Hakkai and Goku had gone downstairs for breakfast.

"Baka… this is all your fault!" the priest grumped.

"But _soooooo_ worth it, ne, angel?" Gojyo murmured, rubbing his hand up and down Sanzo's back.

Violet eyes glittered angrily up at red. And then Sanzo grabbed the kappa's head and pulled it down to press a swift, hard kiss on the generous lips. "Yes, it was, after all," Sanzo declared mockingly.

"Hah! I knew it…." Gojyo smirked smugly.

"Ah. Sickness is a small price to pay for a good, satisfying Marlboro…" Sanzo drawled.

"OI!" Gojyo pouted.

Sanzo yawned, the medicine starting to work on him. "Urusei, erogappa…" he mumbled. "Sleep…"

Gojyo yawned too. "Sweet dreams, angel…"

"Only if I dream of you, you maddening scoundrel," Sanzo growled sleepily.

Gojyo kissed him softly in reply.

When Hakkai and Goku returned from having breakfast, the last thing they expected was to see the kappa and the priest face to face, sharing the bed without a grumble. For both were deeply, peacefully asleep.

-owari-

* * *

When love is not madness, it is not love. Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Japanese mini-glossary:

Bakazaru: stupid monkey

Erogappa: Horny water imp

Ikkou: group

Urusei: Shut up

Harisen: paper fan

Sumimasen: Excuse me

Tenkai: Heaven

Daijobou: Are you all right

Harahetta: I'm hungry

Itte: Ow

Damare: Shaddap

Hayaku: Hurry up

Nani: What

Oishii: Delicious/tasty

Gomen: Sorry

Demo: But

Yare yare: Well, well / boy oh boy

Arigatou: Thank you

Hage bouzu: Baldy monk


End file.
